The Package
by Alexander P. Young
Summary: Inuyasha was out in the woods looking for a place to crash after another argument with Kagome. Little did he know that it would come to be his undoing later on.


**The Package**

**A crack by Alex Young**

* * *

Somewhere near the Seisho Academy, 12:00 pm. November 21, 2010

* * *

Inuyasha was out and about looking for a place to crash after having gotten into another argument with Kagome. "_Jeez, that wench didn't hafta sit me down like 100 times or something_." The silver haired half demon grumbled to himself as he trudged through a thicket and into the door of the old middle school building.

As soon as Inuyasha entered into a classroom, he laid his half demon eyeballs on the very same package that he had been chasing around about 2 hours ago. Lo and behold, it contained ramen, and all the necessary ingredients to cook it. Inuyasha couldn't quite grasp as to why Kagome was being so nice to him all of a sudden, nor could he grasp the tragic humiliation to follow suit.

* * *

In Kriss' dorm room, 3:40 pm

* * *

Ichiroku, Rebacca Miyamoto, and Kriss (a relative newcomer) have settled down to an Xbox live game of Call of duty: black ops, but with a twist. In this instance, they were in search of Ichiyon's gamertag, and for good reason; the idea being to fool Ichiyon into thinking that she is not playing against Ichiroku, but rather someone by the name of Inuyasha, hence Kriss' second gamertag.

Ichiyon was in an particularly sour mood after having failed another exam at the shooting gallery, therefore she decided to take it out on the opponents in a gun game. The idea behind the prank is to piss Ichiyon off enough to go looking for Inuyasha, and the most expedient way to do it; a knifing only play style.

Thus, the plan of attack that Ichiroku and company settled upon was to knife the living hell out of Ichiyon in a gun game, and as lady luck would have it, they so happened across Ichiyon as she was in the very session she joined along with four other players.

The prank began as soon as the game started up, and Ichiroku motioned to follow the script with a crystalline accordance. She moved her player character through the map because she knew how to go around knifing people, it was just a matter of finding her.

As soon as Ichiroku's player character first plunged the knife into Ichiyon's player character, that's when shit really hit the fan. \WHAT THE FUCK!? SOMEBODY JUST KNIFED ME!/ Ichiroku smirked to her sister's colorful remark, and thus she kept on striking while the iron was hot, over and over and over again.

At the end of the game session, anyone with decent hearing could tell that Ichiyon was way more pissed off about the knifing than she already was with her bombed exam at the firing range. \OK, I'D LIKE TO MEET THE LITTLE CHICKENSHIT RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS KNIFING BULLSHIT AND RIP 'EM A NEW ASSHOLE!/ Ichiyon snarled out as she quit the game, shut off her Xbox 360, and stormed off in search of the culprit, M14 in hand. "That did it! Let's all go after her!" Ichiroku proclaimed as her two companions, Kriss and Rebecca followed her sniggering with camera equippment to record the final part of their three stage prank.

* * *

The Seisho academy's old middle school building, 4:00 pm

* * *

Inuyasha had just taken a catnap after having had his fill of ramen, only to wake up to the sound of heavy footfalls coming from outside the shool building. "No! No way!" Inuyasha spat as he scrambled to get out. "That Kagome had better not be trying to sit me down again, especially not after last night!" The half demon growled to himself as he reached for the door.

"Because if she is, then I'M GONNA..." *PWAK!* Inuyasha yelped as the door dragged him and slammed him into the wall. It was Ichiyon out in search of the one to repeatedly knifed her back in her last call of duty session.

Needless to say, Inuyasha was not too happy about that. "WHY THE HELL'DJOU SLAM THE DAMN DOOR IN MY FACE YOU BITCH!" Inuyasha snarled violently as he ripped the door to pieces getting himself unstuck. "HEY, YOU'RE NOT THE FUCKTARD WHO PULLED THAT CHICKENSHIT KNIFING ON ME, ARE YA!?" Ichiyon accused glowering at the half demon. "First you slam the door in my face, and THEN YOU ACCUSE ME OF SOMETHING I NEVER DID TO YOU!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE FOR FUCK'S SAKES!" Inuyasha roared glowering right back at Ichiyon.

"SO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO KNIFED ME, HUH!? WELL, THEN EAT THIS!" Ichiyon screeched as she unloaded in full auto mode on the already enraged half demon, who pulled out his tetsusaiga sword after having been knoacked back a few spaces. "OK, WENCH! THAT TEARS IT! WIND SCAAAR!" Inuyasha boomed as he unleashed his trademark wind scar attack on Ichiyon, who dodged the devastating energy waves as they tore humongous gashes into the earth and the old middle school building entrance.

"IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER!" Inuyasha shrilled as he followed up on his wind scar attack. Ichiyon braced herself by putting her own weapon out in front of her as Inuyasha lunged, only to have him land squarely on her chest. "LAY OFF, YOU KNIFING CHICKENSHIT!" Ichiyon screeched as she struggled to pry Inuyasha from her chest.

"_Wait for it!_" Ichiroku sniggered in the background with Rebecca and Kriss as they prepared to record and photograph Ichiyon's untimely humilitation, as well as that of Inuyasha. "INUYASHA! SIT!" *Kabonk* Kagome ordered as she though to have put the kibosh on another inane scuffle that Inuyasha had gotten himself into.

However, upon closer inspection, Kagome realized that she had done the absolute unthinkable; she made Inuyasha kiss another girl! In this case, it's Ichiyon who got the accidental kiss. "OOAAH DISGUSTING, YUCK!" Inuyasha retched as he immediately separated from Ichiyon to scrape off any taste of Ichiyon's kiss with his claws.

"Ha Ha Haaa! You got punked!" Ichiroku taunted as she along with Rebecca and Kriss burst out into raucous laughter at Ichiyon's and Inuyasha's shared expense. "KAGOME! WHY THE FUCK'DJA MAKE ME KISS THAT FUCKING WENCH!?" Inuyasha growled threateningly. "I DIDN'T MEAN FOR YOU TO KISS HER, OK!? I ONLY WANTED TO STOP YOU FROM TEARING HER LIMB FROM LIMB! IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!?" Kagome screeched back tearfully as she dragged Inuyasha by his dog ears.

"H-HEY! LEMME GO! I'M NOT THROUGH WITH THAT DIRTY WHORE JUST YET!" Inuyasha demanded as Kagome continued dragging him away from it all. "Inuyasha and Ichiyon sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Ichiroku and company chanted in a sing song tone, to which Ichiyon sneered, only to upchuck the contents of her last meal. {Kissing that, that, dog! It makes me so sick just thinking of it!} A sickening Ichiyon spat as she attempted to limp her way home.

"Oh, and just in case you were wondering as to what that prank was for, it was for all the lame-ass puns you've been hitting me with over the years! That, and it was for scaring me out of my wits during the last cultural festival, so suck on that Ichiyon!" Ichiroku proclaimed as she along with her companions returned home satisfied with Ichiyon's apparent humiliation.


End file.
